AM:       The inspiration for Positive Parenting Solutions was based partly on my own needs and from talking with so many parents who didn’t feel successful in their most important job.  While they loved their kids more than anything in the world, many didn’t feel adequately prepared to handle the challenges of parenting and disciplining. 

Parenting books have been around forever, but in my experience, most are long on theory and short on the details – “what do I do first…then what’s next”, etc.  My goal was to provide parents with a training curriculum that would teach them a step-by-step process for implementing “tools” (strategies) which would correct misbehavior and empower kids to be capable, responsible and respectful. 


TSG:       What exactly is a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator? What did you need to do to earn this certification?

AM:       I spent the early part of my career developing and delivering training programs for Fortune 500 companies.  Following the birth of my second child, I studied the principles of Adlerian Psychology in various classes and settings as well as mentoring with a child therapist.  I combined my experience developing training programs, my Adlerian Psychology knowledge, the practical experience from my mentor and what I applied with my own family and developed The Breakthrough Course. After experiencing the life changing results for me personally, I was on a mission to share this information with as many families as possible!

Becoming a trained Positive Discipline instructor was one component in the process of developing the course.  The content in Positive Parenting Solutions Online is based on the principles of Adlerian Psychology and Positive Discipline and years of working with families and seeing the results in action.


TSG:       I grew up third of seven in an era when “shut up and do as I tell you” was the norm. Fortunately, my parents did a better job than that. What positive changes have you seen in parenting in the last twenty years? Have there been any negative parenting trends during this time?

AM:       Parenting has changed in so many ways over the past couple of generations – with positive and negative outcomes.  One of the more significant changes is that the “do it because I said so” approach just doesn’t cut it anymore and this and can be very frustrating for parents. “What’s with today’s kids?”  “Why don’t they listen?” 

It’s not that kids are any different today – they have the same genetic make up.  The reason the “do it because I said so” approach doesn’t work with today’s kids is a reflection of an overall shift in society from an authoritarian, do-as-I-say model to one of personal empowerment.  We see it in the workplace.  The have-the-report-on-my-desk-by-5:00-or-else style of management is long gone. Instead strong leaders encourage and empower their employees to have input into decision-making. The same is true in personal relationships.  Today, wives don’t blindly “obey” the rules set forth by their husbands; instead most couples view marriage and parenting as a partnership.  Mom won’t submit to a “because I said so” request from Dad, so why should children feel good about blindly obeying a “because I said so” directive from parents?

In the big scheme of things – this is a positive change.  Who can argue with treating each other with more respect and greater empowerment?  But, parents are frustrated.  Giving “the look” or saying “because I said so” doesn’t work and they’re at a complete loss for what to do instead.   Should they use Time Out?  Counting 1-2-3?  Most parents have already tried those strategies and realize that they do more to invite power struggles than tame them. Unfortunately, in the absence of effective discipline strategies, parents resort to the “repeat, remind, repeat, remind, EXPLODE, feel guilty and start the same thing over again tomorrow” cycle.

The good news is that most parents understand that children deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.  The bad news is most parents haven’t been trained in how to hold kids accountable for behavior without resorting to nagging, reminding or yelling.  Positive Parenting Solutions empowers parents with the skills to do just that.


TSG:       Do you believe that it is not only appropriate, but necessary and beneficial for work-at-home parents to set up boundaries with their children during work hours?

AM:       Yes, work-at-home parents have to establish boundaries, but they also need to understand what is developmentally appropriate for a child.  I’ve worked with parents who expect their toddlers to entertain themselves while the parents work at home. This isn’t realistic and leads to frustration for everyone.  Work-at-home parents need to schedule dedicated “work time” during their day and arrange appropriate childcare during that time.

Establishing well-defined routines helps the child know what to expect.  Example:  “I spend a 10-15 minutes playing with mom/dad before the sitter arrives.  I have lunch with mom/dad.  I spend 10-15 minutes playing with mom/dad at the end of the work day before dinner.” 

“Controlling the Environment” can help alleviate confusion for the child – if possible, locate your home office away from the main family space, put a stop sign on the door to indicate that the “office is closed now ” 

Give your child opportunities to “communicate with you during the day” – other than coming into your office.  She can draw a picture and quietly slip it under the door.  With the sitter’s help, she can create a list of the Top 3 things she wants to do with mom/dad during the after-work playtime.


TSG:       As you mentioned earlier, often out of frustration, a parent can quickly transition from speaking to screaming when a child just doesn’t seem to respect the importance of a home work space. What are some basics a solopreneur can consider to keep the conversation calm and constructive?

AM:       After defining the “work day routine” – practice it!  This is especially important for young children.  Role play “work time” and the designated “play/interact” times during the day. 

Let your child know that if she comes to your office during your work time (and it’s not a true emergency!) then, you will IGNORE her request.  That may sound harsh at first – but every time you stop what you’re doing and say, “Please honey – daddy’s working now.  I’ll play with you later” – it gives her a “hit” of attention and guarantees the behavior will continue.

Instead, ignore the request.  By ignoring the behavior, you are removing the PAYOFF and as a result,  it’s less likely to happen again. (Depending on the child’s age, it’s important to practice this part in the role play so she knows what to expect.)


TSG:       We all have the same 24 hours in a day to set priorities for our time. When I work with solopreneurs, I often find they only talk in terms of allocating time to specific work tasks and goals. I work with them to include time for personal goals in their list instead of leaving them up to whatever time is leftover. Having a healthy relationship with your children can help or hinder your success. What is an appropriate amount of time to prioritize for your kids? How does that time allotment transition from tots to teens?

AM:       Kids have a hard-wired need for POSITIVE attention – plain and simple.  If parents don’t PROACTIVELY fill the attention basket with POSITIVE attention, the child will get his attention one way or another –and it will usually be with negative attention seeking behaviors like whining, clinging, acting helpless and constant interruptions.  Eventually, the attention-seeking behaviors shift to power-seeking behaviors like tantrums, not listening, backtalk, etc

The best strategy to avoid the negative attention and power seeking behaviors is to commit to spending 10 – 15 minutes 2X per day with each child.  That is 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with ONE parent and ONE child in which he has your complete and undivided attention and doing something the child likes to do. If he likes to play with Legos – you build Legos for 10 minutes.  If she likes to play UNO or backgammon – that’s what you do.  It’s 10 minutes of undivided time when they don’t have to compete with anyone (siblings, your spouse) or anything (your Blackberry, work, etc.) for your attention.

By INVESTING time in proactively filling their attention baskets – you get that time back 10-fold in good behavior.  When their “baskets” are full, they don’t have to demand your attention.  Parents have a choice – we can put the time in on the front end with Mind, Body & Soul Time or we can spend a lot more time than that battling whining, tantrums, and constant interruptions during the day. 


TSG:       Are there “universal truths” in positive parenting or do you alter your approach to account for the cultural diversity we have here in the US?

AM:       There are certain universal truths that apply to all people in all cultures.  All humans have a hard-wired need for positive attention and positive power.  If the need for attention and power is not met, kids will resort to negative behaviors to get it.  If parents proactively fill the attention basket in positive ways and give kids opportunities to exercise power in positive ways – kids don’t have the “need” to misbehave.

Beliefs about appropriate discipline strategies certainly differ based on culture, religious beliefs and personal experience.  Positive Parenting Solutions does not advocate spanking or other punishments that are emotionally or physically hurtful to a child.  However, perspectives can differ on that based on cultural diversity.  Our goal is to give parents 25 other tools they can use FIRST before resorting to physical or hurtful punishment. 


TSG:       I love the fact that you provide parents with a “Tool Box” of strategies. Each child and every home environment creates a unique formula for frustration. By providing a variety of tools, you give parents the option to deal with each situation appropriately. What are some of the tools that a parent gets from your online courses?

AM:       Just as young children learn to walk one step at time, parents need to learn new solutions one step at a time. The Positive Parenting Solutions program is laid out in “take action” steps called “Tools”. Parents start by learning and implementing Tool #1. And make no mistake — they’ll see concrete results after implementing Tool #1. Then, when they’re ready, move forward to implement Tool #2. Each tool in Positive Parenting Solutions builds on the previous one, with visible results every step of the way.

Mind, Body & Soul Time and the “how to’s” of implementing it are covered in the first session.  (Which parents can access for free!)  In Session 3, parents discover the 5 R’s of fair and effective consequences.  They experience why “When-Then” is consistently described as a “magic bullet” for diffusing power struggles.  Session 5 is all about sibling rivalry, fighting and competition and parents learn the tools to empower kids to work out their own fights without parents getting involved.  With over 25 tools in The Tool Box, we empower parents with concrete strategies to correct misbehavior without nagging, reminding and yelling! 


Amy, thank you again for your time today and important insight.


Success in business takes investment – investment in time, equipment, marketing. How much time do you invest in your ability to create a healthy relationship with your children and setting healthy boundaries for your home based business?


Invest in helpful “tools” today. Positive Parenting Solutions gifts you a 14-day free pass to check out Session 1’s seven online videos, interactive learning modules and more. For more information and to get started today, click on the link below.


Positive Parenting Solutions
Amy McCready, Founder
http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/
Free 14-Day Course Access
Free Live Webinars 
Blog Articles


All the Best,


Doug Dolan
The Solopreneur’s Guide

If you recall a post that I wrote about two months ago, I discussed the three entrepreneurial personality types in the piece, “The Split Personality of Entrepreneurship”. The three types of entrepreneurs are the Inventor, the Manager and the Split Personality (a blend of the previous two).

A significant percentage of solopreneurs are either the Inventor or the Manager type. Today’s interview is with Jeff Frutkin, the solo entrepreneur behind SmarterLeap.com and its sister site Idea Architects. Jeff recognized the delineation between these two entrepreneurial types and created sites specifically geared to allow people falling into these categories to take advantage of their strengths.

TSG:     What was your inspiration to launch SmarterLeap.com?

JF:     I’d been looking for a unique idea for a business for the last several years. I came across dozens of websites that claimed to have “new business ideas”, however, these sites simply published existing small businesses or reported on ideas that were started by other entrepreneurs. Further, many of the ideas were recycled from site to site and offered limited revenue potential and competitive advantage, especially to an entrepreneur looking for an invaluable idea to call his own.

I founded SmarterLeap.com to bridge the gap in the marketplace. Our purpose is to provide:

• Breakthrough business ideas for individuals serious about starting a new business, from original web 2.0 sites and unique service businesses to new product innovations, and
• Expert guidance assisting entrepreneurs with the successfully launch of a new SmarterLeap business idea.

TSG:     Can you give us a quick bio about your professional background?

JF:     Sure. I have 12 years of experience leading top performing organizations with national and global marketing presence. I held senior marketing and general management positions in a number of leading financial services companies, including HSBC and most recently, Advanta Bank Corp.

I earned degrees in Marketing and Finance from the Kellogg School of Management (Northwestern University) and The Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania).

TSG:     Who do you think will benefit the most from the ideas on SmarterLeap.com?

JF:     While SmarterLeap focuses on cultivating aspiring entrepreneurs worldwide, many individuals from diverse industries turn to us for access to one-of-a-kind business ideas they can’t get anywhere else.

Here are just a few that count on our services:

• Budding entrepreneurs
• Consultants
• Experienced professionals seeking an alternative to working in large corporations
• Independent small business owners
• Franchisees looking for a fresh approach to new start-ups
• Trend watchers
• Marketers
• Venture capitalists

TSG:     What benefits do entrepreneurs have by becoming a subscriber with SmarterLeap instead of going to other free sites for business ideas or buying into a franchise?

JF:     We are offering aspiring entrepreneurs innovative business ideas that have the potential to become multi-million dollar companies. The ideas range from original web 2.0 sites and unique service businesses to new product innovations and compelling retail concepts.

The cost to join SmarterLeap.com is only $9 per month. For this small fee, you get:

• Unlimited access to search SmarterLeap’s idea bank, with in-depth descriptions of each innovative concept
• 30+ new business ideas are added to the site monthly
• Free reign to begin building your business using an original SmarterLeap concept
• Eligible to utilize additional member services

If you are an aspiring entrepreneur, and you don’t have a viable business idea, SmarterLeap is the perfect resource for you. 

TSG:     Why do you offer such an aggressive, low monthly fee of only $9 for the site’s innovative business ideas? Why not charge interested entrepreneurs $100 a month or more?

JF:     We are committed to maintaining a low subscription fee, so you can focus on finding the breakthrough idea that is right for you. Right now, you can get a 1-month subscription for a total of only $9, a tiny investment that will change your life.

TSG:     Where do the ideas published on SmarterLeap come from?

JF:    SmarterLeap taps into a network of really smart and creative people (we call them Idea Architects) to generate ideas that have yet to be imagined in the world of business. We compensate Idea Architects for developing powerful new business concepts. They participate in weekly brainstorms with the SmarterLeap team and submit ideas based on their expertise, research and knowledge of a particular market.

If you are interested in becoming an idea architect, please send us a brief description of yourself including areas of interest, current responsibilities and any significant achievements to: ideaarchitect@smarterleap.com.

You can also submit ideas on our sister website: http://www.ideaarchitectsonline.com/.

TSG:     Who can join Idea Architects Online?

JF:     Anyone can join IdeaArchitectsOnline.com. Many Idea Architects are also entrepreneurs. We are looking for people who are creative, smart and enjoy brainstorming new business ideas. Idea Architects also tend to have a strong interest in emerging trends and next generation opportunities.

Jeff, thanks for your time and insight into your two unique sites.

So, whether your preference is brainstorming new business ideas or you are looking for inspiration to launch your new livelihood, you now have two original sites to assist you – Idea Architects and Smarter Leap.

For more information, you can click on the hyperlinks above or contact Jeff at the following:

Jeff Frutkin
P: (312) 890-5502

jfrutkin@smarterleap.com

All The Best,

Doug Dolan
The Solopreneur’s Guide

In my previous post, “Why ‘Everyone’ Isn’t a Good Market”, I speak to the benefits of focusing on a specific market versus trying to grab everyone and anyone as a customer. This in turn leads me to the purpose of this post – frames of reference.

We relate to our surroundings and each other through a series of frames of reference – an association of previous experiences, feelings, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions that result in our actions. Although you and I have a unique point of reference, we do share some frames of reference. There are an endless amount of referential frames, yet the number of frames we share will depend upon the similarities in our age, race, sex, education, culture, affluence, health, location, family history, employment – just to name a few.

You must grab a hold of this concept in order to be successful as a solopreneur. It’s just you servicing your market. And unless you want the general populous to perceive you as a schizophrenic (and avoid you), you need to make definitive choices about who you are going to be as a business and the market that you will service. This doesn’t mean that you can’t derive your income from a diverse source of solutions. However, these solutions must fit within a specific frame of reference.

Let me give you an example that I hope you can relate to. I own and operate a fine dining establishment. When you think “fine dining” you already frame in your expectations as to appropriate marketing, menu and service. The figurative frame that you create is a culmination of the attributes mentioned above regarding your age, affluence, past experiences, and so on. It is likely that you will think “pricey”, “pampering”, “exclusive”, “creative cuisine”, “special occasion” in relation to fine dining.

Since I understand this, I know my boundaries for successfully capturing and keeping customers. I know the proper marketing, menu items and service that I must provide in order to be successful. It is the difference between coupons and give-away gift certificates or happy meals and prix fixe menus. Both terms accomplish the same task, but carry different connotations appropriate for my target market’s frame of reference. To pollute the “fine dining” frame of reference with marketing and actions appropriate for fast food chains will kill my business quicker than the current economy.

I don’t negate that the current economy has a significant impact on the restaurant industry. Economic experts project that the restaurant industry as a whole will experience a 34% decline in revenues in 2009 as compared to the previous year with fine dining bearing the biggest burden. To survive, many establishments will need to find new creative solutions for minimizing the impact. Those that will survive understand they must operate within their target market’s frame of reference or change their concept all together and focus on a new target market. Some will expand their offerings to create new income streams including catering, brunch, special events and private parties. However, to be successful, these opportunities must fit within the framework of fine dining.

The owners that will kill off their business the quickest are those that try and straddle multiple markets. Imagine your local fine dining establishment creating menu options or seatings to compete with a quick service establishment like Outback Steakhouse. Both have target markets that eat food, so why couldn’t they be successful? They will have the talent to perform, but will struggle to find the right balance for décor and marketing. Do the Outback diners find their experience too upscale? Do their previous regulars decide that the experience has gone down hill?

Building a business is a battle. Don’t come out shooting blanks with a bland or confused image that tries to capture everyone. Choose a specific target market. Understand your target market’s frames of reference. This will guide you to make appropriate decisions with your marketing messages and the products and service that you provide.

All The Best,

Doug Dolan
The Solopreneur’s Guide

Most of the posts that I leave here are focused on business advice. As my mission states, I’m here to help you, the solopreneur, create and grow a successful, sustainable business. I usually don’t leave posts that simply are a musing, a thought of the day or what’s happening in my day. I hope that this hasn’t made my posts seem impersonal.

I know that you want to interact with a person and not just some faceless machine that generates advice. I plan on adding a photo up on my home page (and some video and audio). It’s not that I am overly hideous or handsome. I simply have spent my time focused on getting the blog going and propagated throughout the Internet instead of snapping mug shots. Plus, writing is one of my primary passions – so I have focused most of my time on this medium.

You can read some of my professional information on my “About” page. Hopeful you get a sense of who I am from my writing. I look to offer advice, but not in an antiseptic manner.

Let me tell you a little bit more about who I am and what I believe in.

I’m 38 years old, a married father of two. I got the even split – one kisses and hugs daughter and one crazy son – fortunately both are healthy.

I come from a family of 5 boys and two girls. I’m third from the top. I was born in Japan and have lived in several states across the US. I tell most people it was because we were running from the law. In reality, my parents kept moving from one opportunity to another to do their best to provide for their family. I loved moving often growing up. It has evolved into a love of traveling. I believe that travel can be one of the best learning experiences.

Nothing is more important to me than my family and friends.

I currently co-own and operate an award winning, fine dining establishment, The Rose Restaurant, in northern Arizona and author this soon to be popular blog.

I previously worked in various roles in restaurants, as an actor, in retail and computer memory. I have managed and mentored many people over the years. Helping others realize their personal and professional potential has become one of my passions.

My biggest reward in life has been the birth of my two children.

My biggest challenges have been:

1) 11 years ago when I started my journey as a recovering alcoholic and then,

2) over the last 3 years while moving to a new town and taking ownership of my restaurant, shortly thereafter my wife underwent brain surgery with multiple complications. In the midst of her long recovery, we experienced three deaths in 1 year of family and friends – first my father-in-law, then the much too early and unexpected deaths of a friend / employee and one of my brothers. Through all of this, I still feel fortunate.

Some of my beliefs are:

• I believe in honesty and integrity.
• I believe that we all have unique qualities and unused potential. We are both teacher and student.
• I believe in a solid work ethic. Work first – play later.
• I believe that we get more out of giving than taking. I always try to give more than I am asked for – in quality first, then quantity.
• I love to learn and believe that taking action creates an experience, which is the best teacher of all.
• I love exceeding goals. I believe that a solid understanding of self while implementing and focusing on a sound process is the best way to achieve goals.
• I believe that being in the right place at the right time is possible, but the possibility increases exponentially by learning, working hard and creating opportunities for luck to happen.
• I believe in challenging and beating the odds. “David and Goliath” was my favorite story as a child.

I don’t believe in get rich quick schemes (but, there are ways to get rich quicker).

I don’t believe in letting others do for you what you “should” do for yourself. (I do believe in delegation and joint ventures.) There are certain responsibilities that we all have. Greater satisfaction and rewards come from living up to your responsibilities. This doesn’t mean that you can do it all on your own. You need the support and sometimes the expertise of others. But, if you have the ability to do it, then get to it.

As The Solopreneur’s Guide grows, I hope that we have a greater interaction and connection. I truly wish you “all the best”.

Doug Dolan
The Solopreneur’s Guide

Just a quick note to wish you a great Thanksgiving Day!

I hope that you’re well, spending time with your loved ones, gobbling down turkey and stuffing while watching football or movie marathons in a tryptophan zombie-like state. I wish you the best of health.

Make this a day of reflection on what is most important in your life and your business pursuits as a solopreneur.

Is your business an extension of your life – or a detractor from it?

All The Best,

Doug Dolan
The Solopreneur’s Guide